Rant: Men will never know the shame of dropping their period cup.

God has abandoned me, I have been cursed, and I will never be the same.

I dropped the damn period cup into the toilet.

Guys, I'm dying. I can't tell my fiancé what bowels of hell I just experienced, you're my only outlet. I stayed up hours past my bedtime like an IDIOT and then blearily went to dump my period cup before bed. Tired, not paying enough attention, that little shit slipped right out of my fingers and sunk to the bacteria bottoms of the porcelain throne.

That I had already done business one and two in.

I could have gagged. I should have died. That had to be God's attempt to strike me down and I don't know why it didn't succeed, because after it was clear I was still alive and horrified, I realized I had to get it out because flexible shape or no, attempting to flush my shame away would definitely clog the drains and make all of this ten times worse.

After wasting about a minute cussing out in the highest whisper I dared so babe wouldn't wake up, another minute wasted as I hesitated to put my hand in that, versus using tongs from the kitchen in that, versus using the toilet scrub to scoop out my blood collector in that, I wadded up tissues in my hoo-hah, toddled as quietly as I could to the laundry room to get the cleaning gloves, then pulled my bad luck charm out of the cesspool it was taking a soak in and tried to remind myself that I deal with this because I get to wear cute outfits and he's stuck in perpetual t-shirts and shorts.

Presently over-boiling the culprit and I am SO TIRED but there's no way I can sleep during my highest period (ugh) of blood flow without it. Washed my arms for the fifth time at the start of this post, and a sixth as I write this sentence.

I may never recover. What fresh hell is this women's reality.