Not in bridal party

Looking for some insight to a situation that has left me feeling extremely hurt and betrayed.

I got married this year and had my best friend of over 10 years as my MOH- it was a no brainer. Despite living in different states the past few years, I still truly felt that my day would not be complete without her right next to me, and despite this ongoing situation, I wouldn't change my decision to have her as my MOH.

She got engaged a few months after the wedding, and I was thrilled for her. We started talking all things wedding, like her venue, colors, food (all the things you would talk about with a bridesmaid), and at no point did she ever breach not having me in the bridal party. Well, her wedding website was published, and to my shock, I am not in the wedding party. I honestly didn't even think of this as a possibility, we're more like sisters.

I gave myself a few days to calm down before I called her and had a conversation about not even giving me a heads up that I wouldn't be in the wedding party. She said she didn't know how to have the conversation with me, and her FH didn't want people in the party that didn't know them as a couple, and didn't want the sides being uneven. I feel that's a BS excuse, but ultimately it's her decision and I cannot change it.

What I'm still struggling with is if I go to the wedding as a guest. I've made my feelings extremely clear to her, and she apologized and stated it wasn't her intention to hurt me. It will cost me over $1000 to attend, and I just don't feel that I'm important enough to go if I wasn't included in the bridal party. Money isn't the issue, it's my feelings around the situation. In the past, I have been treated as the "reliable" friend, and have been used as a doormat when no one else was there. If I don't go, I'm saying goodbye to my friendship of 10 years. If I do go, I'm saying it's OK to treat me like this and feel as if I'm excusing the behavior.