Please, just leave my name alone

I'm adopted and in my 30s. It was an open adoption, I know my birth parents, etc. My bio mom gave me a very unique name that leans heavily on Spanish. It's long, and growing up, people could never pronounce it. Now, people do better, but barely. I got so many annoying personal questions, where are you from, who named you, what's your ethnicity, what does it mean, and of course my absolute favorite response, you're so exotic.

When I was in 5th grade, I decided to go by a nickname because it was easier for people and I got fewer questions. As I got older, I also realized I have a really heavy relationship to my full name. It is a tether to a life I never had and relationships that at this point, are really strained. But it is also my name and a part of my story. So, I never decided to legally change it, though I have thought about it.

I work a job where I have to have my legal name for computer logins and on my badge. At a past job, one of my coworkers knew I didn't like going by my full name but didn't know why and so would tease me by using it, which is what spurred how I now deal with people around my name.

Except for that coworker, people at work are usually fine about it. It's more out in the world when I have to show my ID. They usually will ask me how to pronounce it, sometimes they'll tell me it's beautiful, occassionally they ask why I don't go by it. And mostly, they stop there with my evasive "I just don't." But there's always those nosey people who want to know/feel entitled to your story even when they don't know you. So, when they press and ask for the meaning, ask about who named me or family lineage, or try to tell me I should use it. I started resorting to the truth and bluntly saying "I don't know, I'm adopted / I'm adopted, my birth mother gave me my name."

And let me tell you, they squirm. Like, intensely. I've done a lot of work around the stigma of adoption and had kind of forgotten how non-adopted people feel about/view adoption when it comes to adoptees (they love the idea and often hate the reality). But it's so apparent that it makes people so uncomfortable. They don't really know what to say and stammer an apology or revert to saying it's a beautiful name and dropping eye contact and the subject. And they often, if able, excuse themselves pretty quickly.

It gives me joy being able to be honest while also giving people a momentary check on minding their own business.