I’m jealous of trans women as a trans man [VENT]

I loathe the trans community sometimes.

I feel so left out of things just because I’m a trans man. We don’t have much representation, we don’t get much positive OR negative publicity, and I feel like our surgeries don’t turn out as well as a transfeminine surgeries do. Its more expensive and difficult to get testosterone than it is to get estrogen (based on my transfem friends experiences and my own experiences), every trans server or space like this is almost exclusively full of trans women, and I feel it’s slightly harder to find resources.

I found an adult trans support group a few months ago and was excited to attend it. I joined and realized I was the only trans man. There was only one other AFAB person and they rarely came. The seven other people were all trans women. I tried to join conversations and be friendly but felt so left out and felt like they didn’t want me there. So I left. In trans discord servers the channels for transfems are packed full of conversations and tips on makeup and presentation and surgeries but the transmasc sections are dead or dying.

Why is our community still leaving us out? I know we’re men and men are treated like shit in the LGBTQ community (often for good reason) but why leave us out so badly? I see transfem celebrities all the time, I see transfems in casual spaces all the time, my own TikTok FYP immediately thinks I am a trans woman because I watch trans videos and it’s hard to find transmascs on the platform to become mutuals with or have on my FYP.

What did we ever do? When will we be acknowledged?

I’m sorry for being jealous of trans women. Ya’all go through more than we do. I just wish I had more resources.

EDIT: Thanks for the support in the comments. To those few who think I am trying to bash trans women, I am not. I want to express my troubles being a trans man in our community compared to the love trans women get in our community. I don’t hate trans women, I have some transfem friends who are the greatest people I have ever met, I just envy them for having more support within our community. There is more development for transfem transitioning, more transfem memes, and just so many transfems on reddits like these. I wish I didn’t have to go to a separate trans reddit for transmascs.

A lot of you are telling me that this is the normal male experience and… jeez. No wonder people shame me for being a man. No wonder my life is more miserable than I came out. Its not just because im trans its entirely because im a man.