TIFU by trying to sooth my itchy groin with magnesium oil

My long distance SO is visiting this weekend and we are planning to stay in a hotel in the city for a night. She very strongly insinuated that she is looking forward to catching up on a lot of sex that we've been missing for the past couple months. I decided to get ready for this weekend with some genital landscaping, so I bought a nice trimmer and got to work.

Now my bush looks all neat and manicured, but I didn't expect it to itch so bad. Its like I can feel little centipede legs running all over my pubis, and wearing anything makes it so much worse. After suffering through today's classes and a chem exam with this incessant issue I decided I should do something about it.

I searched online what people do to soothe itchy pubes after trimming, and the first suggestion was a hot shower. That did very little to ease my pain. The next suggestion was to moisturize. I was smart enough not to use my hand moisturizer because I know that products for hands tend to be irritating to more sensitive skin, so I went to look for something else that would work. On the bathroom counter was a bottle of magnesium oil. Magnesium is in Epsom salt, which is used in baths to ease soreness, and oil is a component in moisturizers, so I put the two together and assumed this product would moisturize and soothe my tormented pubis. I was so wrong.

I took it to my bedroom and gave it a good 4 sprays like the directions said and proceeded to rub it in. At first the cold was soothing, I thought it was working, but then a tingling started building up everywhere the oil had touched. I rubbed harder hoping it would get absorbed faster and it got much much worse. It was like my pubes were set ablaze, it itched so much I was patting them with both hands to try to put the fire out. I ran back to the bathroom completely naked grabbed a hand towel, soaking with cold water to try to rub off any residual oil. I scrubbed desperately but the itching only got worse. Now I am sitting on the shower floor with a bowl of ice cubes and cold water running over my crotch. I really hope my SO appreciates the grooming.

TLDR: Trimmed pubes got itchy, tried to use magnesium oil spray to relive it. It got worse, much worse.