I need advice 17m 17f

I 17M broke up with my Ex girlfriend 17F about 1.5 months ago Due to Mental health problems i was recently diagnosed with BPD and bipolar and a few other mental problems which i do not want to discuss anyways my ex and i have been no contact for a month now and i feel happier but i still love her we were together for about 7 months and during that time i did screw up and hid things from her mostly mental health issues and other things i self sabotaged the relationship bc to me it was to good to be true and i want to make amends with her but im scared it’ll be a repeat bc she seems happy talking to a guy in our auto class and i don’t want to take that away from her i hate myself for what i did and my therapist said it would take a long time to get over her but what no one realizes is she’s someone i wanted to spend my life with and im willing to wait for and i know i shouldn’t bc she said she doesn’t feel that way anymore she’s bipolar as well so I dont know if she said it in the moment or something but i can’t get over her