How can I take pride in being a freak?

I genuinely don't understand how I could possibly feel any pride over being an autistic, gender-freak, bisexual. I try, but everyone else thinks I'm a freak.

I am quite possibly a trans girl, I am bisexual, and I am autistic. All of these factors make me hate myself. Why can't I just be a boy like God made me? Why can't I make up my mind on who to date? Why can't I look at the world like everyone else?

I genuinely want to know how I can start feeling anything good about myself. I hide any autistic behavior that I can out of shame. I feel disgusted if I am overwhelmed or want to stim. I pretend to be a masculine loser to avoid anyone hating me like they did when I tried to be a girl in the past.

How do I love anything about me?