Really struggling to get rid of this sugar addiction

I know I have control over my choices and I just keep making the wrong choices - I’ve been addicted to sugar since I was like 10 and I’m nearly 20 now.

It’s just so hard to get rid of the habits. I’ve tried probably 200 different diet plans, some really restrictive (literally only beef and peas), some allowing myself a chocolate bar each meal because I ‘need’ to feed the addiction at least a bit or I’ll lose control. Then I just lose control anyway and go buy a packet of 20 cookies and a Ben and jerrys tub and eat the lot in 10 minutes. I’ve tried replacing sugar with various other things, healthy snacks, savoury foods instead (because they don’t lead me to lose control like with sugar), chewing gum ect. I had a diet where I ate only chocolate as long as it was under 1200 calories. I also had a diet where I ate so many polo mints to try and avoid chocolate, that I ended up shitting myself because I was eating 2000calories worth of mints that act as laxatives.

I really want to be healthy but the fact that I keep failing makes me second guess my motivations. Like do I really want to stop if I keep giving into an addiction over and over? I think of course I do because I hate acting like this - it feels disgusting and my body feels terrible the more sugar I consume, then add in other shit like sneaking the packet and remains of my sugar truffles into a secret bin bag hidden in my room, that I’ll then shove into a public bin at 6am because I don’t want anyone to somehow see the contents - it just feels shameful and disgusting. I don’t want to live like this but I just keep doing it.

I don’t want to pass it onto my future kids and I want to set a good example for them. It causes issues in my relationship because I complain to him about feeling fat and bloated, then I eat 20 cookies, then I cry and insult myself a bit which upsets him because he doesn’t want me to dislike myself. Then I go buy more sugar to eat, which upsets him more because he doesn’t want me to engage in the thing that’s actively encouraging me to feel like shit about myself.

It feels like sugar addiction isn’t taken as seriously as other addictions too..I understand I can’t really overdose in the same way you can with drugs and I’m not as at risk of going into serious debt or wasting my assets away as gambling but man - it’s still infectious and invasive on my and I’m sure loads of other people’s lives. I don’t know how to get rid of it

How did you guys do it?