Reflecting on my first completely sober year
Last year I decided to end 2022 sober. I ceremonially had my last drink on December 30th. I didn't drink on December 31st and I haven't had a drop in all of 2023.
I've posted before on why I decided to stop so I won't get into the "how and why" just now. For this post, I'm reflecting on what happened during this year that probably wouldn't have happened if I was still drinking as heavily as I had been trending through 2022.
In 2023 I didn't drink alcohol but I did:
- See my marriage improve. I'm a better spouse sober.
- Treat my kids with a lot more patience and kindness. I'm a better dad sober.
- Re-think my career, which was making me decent money but also making me miserable, and I took meaningful steps to eventually go a totally new direction. I'm enrolled in classes for new credentials in a different field starting in Jan of 2024.
- Take 3rd place overall in my first ultramarathon. I ran more than 1,000 training miles in the summer and got into pretty good shape while enjoying every single mile. The running helped me relax and not need a shortcut to sleep. Also, it's a lot easier to work out when I'm not dehydrated, tired, and recovering from being a wee bit poisoned.
- Lose booze weight. I don't miss the extra 10 lbs. I have a 6-pack again. My wife doesn't care but I like seeing it in the mirror.
- Go to bed on time a lot more often.
- Wake up most mornings without feeling like the first hour would be a battle.
- Not exactly save money, but spent the extra money on stuff I like and I still have to show for having spent it instead of drinking away the extra money.
- Get a lot better at my espresso craft, which is a healthier beverage habit. I also drink herbal tea in the evenings, which sounds lame but dammit it's nice to have something to sip after a long day.
- Encourage my long-term friend who also agreed to stop drinking along with me. He's also still sober. I'm incredibly proud of him.
- Not miss drinking any more once I got past the "habit" of thinking I needed something to relax. A small piece of chocolate or a few hot tamales scratches the same brain reward itch... and the moment of "need" passes.
- Not go through withdrawal in the psychological sense. I think the relief of not drinking any more was so much of an elation that I only suffered a moment here and there, and once I corrected the lies about needing a drink then the moment would pass.
- Look a lot better in family photos. I've always taken decent care of myself aside from drinking too much, but I've had a lot of comments that I look "better rested" or "less stressed" or "happier" which are all true. I look at those old photos and feel bad for what I was putting myself through.
- Feel bad for people I care about who are clearly drinking too much.
- Still hang out with people I like and who still like me even though I don't drink.
- Enjoy letting friends pour me a drink when they wanted to but only if they agreed to pour it out with me afterwards. (This goes back into specifically why I stopped.) Those have actually been some really cool moments.
- Turn 40 while sober and healthier mentally, spiritually, and physically than I have been in 15 years.
- Have moments of such intense gratitude that I was brought to my knees.
My younger brother used to be an alcoholic. He stopped some years before I did. When I told him I'd stopped then he said "every aspect of your life will be better a year from now."
He was right.
You can, too.