Stepparent Adoption

My husband and I are both looking to adopt each other's children. Both children agree to being adopted by each of their stepparents and understand our reasoning for wanting to do this. Unfortunately, both circumstances are not standard when it comes to either adoption, neither of us even know where to begin, and I am curious if anyone else has had similar situations that could offer some guidance. Also, I want to include that if we were ever to divorce for whatever reason, it is clear that each child will remain with their biological parent.

Both of us are physically disabled because of spinal issues (mine from an MVA, his are hereditary) but we are both physically taking care of our children without assistance every day already, and because of disability, we are unable to afford an attorney to just do this for us. We also live in Illinois, for location reference.

First Child:

My son is 9yo, has not had his father in his life for 5 years now. His father has never paid court ordered child support, does not have visitation, and only has rights in the sense that I have not terminated them. It was once stated by a judge that he was deemed unfit twice in court as a parent because he did not bother to show up to the divorce hearing, granting me sole custody by default, and he did not contest an OP, stating that he was only interested in possessions and not visitation or parental rights. Recently, his daughter evicted him from his residence, so I no longer know where he is located. Any idea on how to proceed in this situation?

Second Child:

My 10yo stepdaughter has been in our care 100% since October 2023 because her biological mother passed away unexpectedly. Prior, custody was completely 50-50. She currently receives survivors benefits through SSA, so we are not sure if those would be terminated upon adoption, revert back to her drawing off of her dad's disability, or what to expect in that aspect?

Both of our children are fully aware, and agree to the adoption, that we are doing this to make life easier when it comes to the legal aspect of doctors, schools, therapists, etc so that both of us can sign for and be present for all the necessities in everyday life with our children without having to deal with having to sign the permission to share information with each other, we can consent to treat our children, and whatever else is needed. Also, we are trying to do this because if anything unforseen were to happen to either of us, our children will be able to stay in their own home, not be fought over by family, and so that my son will not be sent to his father, who is deemed unsafe and neglectful in courts, as well as with children and family services. It was very traumatic for my stepdaughter to have to move out of her mother's home and there was so much drama in the process that we want to eliminate that as much as possible if anything were to happen in the future. All of her and her mother's possessions were picked through, donated, sold, fought over, etc and she was not able to get anything of hers or her mothers in the end and it was very devastating to her.

If anyone has any constructive insight or advice, it would be greatly appreciated. We are only looking to protect and care for our children the best way we possibly can so that they can thrive.