Love - after rape

I was sexually assaulted when I was 21. I was still a virgin and had never had boyfriend. It has been four years since the event, and I have never had a boyfriend or had a sexual relationship, though I went on maybe 5 dates in these years. I sincerely start to embrace the fact that it may not be for me, and I sabotage most dates I have even if I really like him. Anyone going through similar challenges? I was the kind of girl that always imagined marrying and having three children and a happy family, but to be honest, those dreams don't look real anymore.