How to deal with turning from Switch to Top exclusively?

Idk if this is the right flair. My (24m) partner (23m) have been together for almost a decade. We started dating when we were in high school, and have lived together since 2020. We are deeply in love and I care about him more than anything. Our relationship has had its ups and downs over the years, but we both know that we will always be there for each other unconditionally.

The one unsolvable problem in our relationship is that he is a stone bottom and I am a switch. I've topped for him since 2018 and haven't stopped. It's fine and we have a lot of fun, but over the years it's started to weigh on me a bit.

I miss the idea of bottoming. I wish a lot of the time that I could get the undivided attention and personalized sex from him that I give, and the subject has become so taboo in our relationship that I've nearly given up talking about it. He's tried to be more engaging and initiative during sex, and it's been wonderful, but at the end of the day it's the same thing every time.

Once we had a threesome with another guy, who topped both of us. It was awesome. He made me feel so special and so good, gave me permission not to think and to just enjoy myself, it was so freeing. I miss it a lot. I try and give my partner that experience as much as possible, but I don't think I'll ever get it back.

I want it so bad it hurts, and I can't talk about it anywhere or with anyone. At this point I don't know what to do. I feel like my only option is to cut my losses and accept Im just a forever top.

I think I just needed to vent. I really have no one to talk about with this. Thanks for reading.