How did being addicted to sh feel like?

Hello, i hope everybody's doing well.

Im just wondering how did it feel like when you were addicted to sh or how it felt like when you were slowly getting addicted to it? did the smallest triggers/anything "little"(if you'd like to share those aswell) get you to sh?

I dont want this to be negative at all, im just asking to see if im at the early stages of developing an addiction.