Feeling defeated while trying to find a new partner after a divorce and a failed relationship

Short of it - my ex wife and I divorced in October of 2021 after 12 years together and 5 years of marriage.

Started dating someone in November of 2021 unexpectedly- turns out it was the worst relationship of my life - I was treated poorly, and constantly discarded over and over.

I’ve been single since July of last year. This past July after a year of being single and healing, I decided to give dating apps a try.

I must have gone out with 8-9 women in a two month span - sometimes multiple dates. It all lead to nothing. I felt unable to find a connection with any of them.

What’s worse - I work from home so I feel like the apps maybe the only way.

I’m a good dude - I’m in therapy, I’m self aware, I’m a good communicator, I’m emotionally available - I’ve DONE the work, and I’m still working to improve myself. And, I’ve been told I’m decently good looking. So what’s the problem?

I’m on these apps and I see what women are looking for - or what they say they are - and it’s not me - “must be 6 foot tall” (I’m 5’ 11). “Beards and tattoos and motorcycles are a turn on!” - I have neither a beard or a motorcycle. “Looking for an alpha male that can take the lead” - I would not call myself an ALPHA male - I’m sensitive, smart, intuitive, and cultured.

I literally feel so insanely undesirable it’s incredible. I’m considering deleting the apps since it’s done a number on my confidence. Maybe I’ll just be alone forever - I truly don’t know where I’ll meet someone and I’m starting to just like being by myself. The thought of getting to know someone seems so daunting that even if I match with people on the apps, I barely have the motivation to really try to keep the conversation up.

However, I really wish I had someone to turn “my life” into “our life” 😔