Am i showing my appreciation

Hello lovely SAHM,s!

I am a SAHM to 3 kids (8,6,2) starting part time study and intending to get back into the work force soon. The issue: for a while now partner believes I don't show any appreciation for what he brings to the table ( praise etc) I believe I do but not overly. I cook dinners for the entire family and he would view this as cooking for the children anyway, not cooking for him etc. This has been an issue for a while with another example of our child sitting in his chair, me not seeing an issue and him thinking he has no place in our home and not appreciated.

I do as much as I can to lighten his load ( my way of appreciating him) so he can relax as much as he can.Tonight somehow we got on the topic of his laundry. He does his own and he mentioned he was "helping" me by doing this. I told him, it's not helping me as it shouldnt be on my list in the first place. He is very upset now, saying I don't appreciate what he does and he might as well be an off sider in our family.

Context he works 8 hour days getting home late mid afternoon. He pays rent, gas and fortnightly groceries. Cleans kitchen mess every night ( although not completely) Mows Own laundry Occasional deep clean of kitchen He does step up when I'm sick and takes care of the kids. Make Sunday breakfast

Myself.

Obviously stay at home mom Deals with everything school related, pick up drop of, homework, pay any expenses related to schooling. Pay water bill, wifi, energy bill and medical bills for children. Clean house as much as I can, chore list very high. Makes breakfast, lunch and dinner Doctor appointments and anything medical Bed and bath routine every night. Any emotional needs are tended by me also. Breastfed all children 3 times and have done 95% of nappy changes Pay for fortnightly groceries

My question is he rightfully upset? Am I being too indifferent and unappreciative? I had a little cry because I try to prove through actions that I appreciate him, and I never actually tell him otherwise. He basically said I told him he's useless and just baffled to be honest