Need help I’m a shit bf

Helllo women of Reddit, I am a male 25 years old and I have been dating my partner for 2 years. I have recently caused a lot of trauma and stress in my partners life with my emotional abuse. Meaning I yelled, tried breaking up and gaslighting. I will take full accountability for my actions I don’t know what I went wrong. Since this I got a thereapist and she is helping me navigate through everything explaining why I think breaking up over lil arguments is a way of cope and yelling is how I grew up in an unstable household. I am trying to change and be respectable boyfriend and a man but somehow my actions to change isn’t working. What can I do to show her I’m changing. I don’t yell, I don’t break up over arguments and I have control over my anger issues which never let to physical violence in case anyone is asking. I would never hit a woman. I have never been a good boyfriend and I really love this this girl. I am trying my hardest to change but nothing is working what can I do? I know what I did was messed up and I realized that but I want to change for her and I will be honest I was so immature, not caring and an asshole but I always loved her. Any advice or tips that you guys can give me will help so much.

Hey guys future me responding. I decided to break up with her so she can heal and move on. I realized there is no way to get rid of the feeling if you are still in a relationship. I ment for her. I really love her and still do maybe I might not recover but I do want to see her happy and move on. So 11/13 I decided to break up with her and we left on good terms. We still love each other but there is to much hurt. I don’t blame her on bit, it was cause of my actions I will be haunted by. Thank you to everyone who responded you guys gave me a lot to think about and I hope I can be better in the future.