Update: Wife (41f) recently reconnected with an "old friend" (44m) and spending a lot of time with them, how do I handle this appropriately?

This is an update to a previous post I made here

Still get DMs here and there so I thought I'd give everyone some closure on this. Nothing too exciting.

TL;DR wife "reconnected" with an old friend and is spending a ton of time with him, we fought, shit's weird now.

So after she ran off to meet him at some bar, she came home around midnight. I was still up as I was watching something on TV, looked over at her, and she looked unsure. She sat down at the end of the couch where I was sitting and said she's sorry she got so angry. She met with him and they talked about the situation. Apparently, he told her that I am right and that it IS weird they're spending so much time with each other. And she called a few friends to talk and get their opinion. They mirrored the same sentiments, that its hard not to think of this as having at least an emotional affair.

To be honest, I was still beyond pissed. And to hear that she only came to realize it when OTHER people told her it was inappropriate, not just me, wasn't helping.

She explained that she is learning something from him that is giving her a new lease on life and to her, its like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to finally start contributing financially and acquiring the skills to generate a bigger income. He is apparently a quite successful day trader, and has been teaching her and a group of other people how to daytrade in extreme detail. She insisted she show me what she was doing, so I let her chew my ear off for an hour about Day Trading, looking at her programs, charts, indicators, and all that, ranting about financial markets etc. She's learned trading with "leverage" and stuff I have no clue about, but it amazes me that a woman who is too ADHD to read boring government forms and gets overwhelmed with simple adult stuff like communicating with municipalities or banks and hates math is diving headfirst into something as complex as crypto day trading.

Still, she seemed surprisingly knowledgeable about all this, and knowing how long it takes her to grasp things she's not interested in, I was impressed. And she was still defiant about the whole spending inappropriate amount of time stuff. I told her she needs to cool it with the contact, but I won't stand in her way learning something that she feels is a major opportunity for her.

We agreed on ground rules. No evenings or weekends, no phone calls past 6pm, and no 1on1 meetings, only group settings. She's been stretching these rules every now and then, but largely kept to them. When she needed to "bend" them, she speaks to me beforehand and gives me ample of heads up, but hides her resentment of having to follow these rules. Still, she seems to want to keep the peace for now and is being proactive. Things have cooled down to a degree where I don't get angry anymore anytime she mentions him.

Anyway, other than that she now thinks she's a pro and a future millionaire and constantly talks about trading, it's been bumpy for other reasons outside of this weird friendship. Her trading talk is annoying as shit and I still think she's got a little crush on her big trader hero; I have grown a bit distant in the last couple months because this whole situation emotionally drained me but we are keeping things going.

I know this is not the dramatic cheating and infidelity story some people were expecting. It's a (pretty severe) rough patch in an average normal people relationship. She's not cheating on me physically (I think), she might have a crush (which happens in a long-term relationship), and I have other shit to deal with at the moment that I just can't expend the energy to obsess over this every day for hours or fight this into a dramatic my-way-or-the-highway conclusion. I don't want to blow our marriage up just to satisfy other people's personal convictions on how a relationship should be like. It's shit right now, but it's OUR shit. My instinct tells me it's a passing fancy, and if things go sideways still, I can always walk out.

This will be my last and only update.