Honeymoon

I’m getting married tomorrow and going to detox on Monday. I found a place that will do a detox for cocaine. I’ve been using ever since me and my fiance met in detox 4 years ago. I’ve managed to function by jumping from one drug to another but I’m so sick of this. I was literally doing coke in the bathroom during the rehearsal dinner. Im sad my honeymoon is going to be spent in detox but I want to start my marriage off right. Im going to miss coke like a motherfucker. I don’t know what I’m going to tell my parents bc they are going to know when I don’t respond to texts. I pray this time it’ll take. I was sober for text years when I was 20-30 but was a sex addict. I’ve never been truly sober. I hate being an addict.