What do I call wtf just happened????

Okay! So I wake up around 9am and my mother is at work, she is GONE. I check her room and around the house, this is very important. She picked up a shift at work and today is usually her off day. I know this, she told me so last night.

I decided to scroll on my phone (tiktok, reddit, insta, red note—whatever) and eventually go for a guided shifting meditation. I chose the void method (alunir) because I wanted to feel weightless and I enjoy the peacefulness of it all. I put a pillow over my eyes to escape the brightness even behind my lids and focus.

Eventually, I reach a deep meditative state and there is a moment where I’m not sure if I fell asleep or just shook myself out of that state. But all of a sudden my eyes are open and I’m scrolling xiaohongshu (red note) and eventually put my phone down to refocus on the method before hearing the door to the house open. I hear my mom and her friend come inside the house and they were speaking right outside my bedroom door. I really wanted them to walk past mine and straight to her room + for my mom to not bother me at all because I wanted to go right back to my mediation and shift. Not even a minute later she’s back at my door and peeks inside (maybe to check whether or not I’m asleep).

It’s not weird, she does it all the time. But now she steps into my room and I get frustrated because I know if I move or open my eyes she’s going to know that I’m not actually sleeping and she’ll start talking to me.

So I try my best to stay still. She slides onto the right side of the bed and I feel her weight. I know she’s not all the way on the bed because her head is below my shoulder so her feet must be hanging off. She’s staring at me now. I’m thinking she’s STILL trying to check if I’m feigning sleep.

A bit of background info, I am highly sensitive around my neck and down my upper back. Any sensation there makes me ticklish or just plain overwhelmed. That’s the first place she goes for.

I can feel her finger lightly press at the side of my neck and I try not to move but my mouth twitches. So to cover that movement I deepen my breath just enough to let out a “snore”.

Everyone, my heart is beating so fast. I am trying desperately to keep my breathing regulated, and deepen it, to appear sleep. My face is as still as possible. But she keeps touching my neck and staring at me.

Then she starts tracing around my eyes and nose. One of my earbuds has fallen out, the one on the right, and I can hear Alunir’s affirmations still playing in my left ear. I’m just praying at this point that I don’t mess this up and move, or for this earbud to slide out.

I can feel her hand apply pressure around my right eye as if it’s just lying on top of my face. My skin is buzzing and heated from the warmth. I can feel the side of my neck pulsing from how hard my heart is beating from the anxiety of it all.

Mind you, I just don’t want to be shaken completely out of my shifting attempt. And I’m literally laying here tweaking out because I don’t want my mom to talk to me right now…It was never that serious.

It had to be about 5 minutes of this happening. Her staring and tracing/touching my face, poking my neck and me regulating all my movements. At some point I fall asleep and slip into a dream.

Then I wake up, here, and I hear nothing in the house. Since we share a wall I would hear her TV playing had she been home. So I think maybe she went out after I fell asleep.

I check her location and she’s at work. Which shouldn’t be a surprise because she gets off at 6pm. There’s absolutely no way my mom was here between 1-2pm (she doesn’t have a car). So I text her and ask where she is. She calls me and asks me if I remember her telling me she’d be at work today, and I told her I do.

I saw she was gone when I woke up, I knew where she was. But I just wanted to make sure. So I asked her if she visited the house within the hour and she told me NO. She said maybe my uncle came by and I agreed and proceeded to end the call knowing that is NOT what happened.

My uncle works in construction, his hands are rough, he is much thinner than my mother, and he doesn’t come in my room often. When he comes by it’s usually to the basement to grab some tools for work and then he leaves.

I didn’t hear a basement door open and close. The weight on the bed didn’t match his. I KNOW WHAT MY MOTHER’S HANDS FEEL LIKE.

So now I’m really confused and stuck. I know what it sounds like when my mom is playing with me, and I didn’t want to scare her by saying it wasn’t my uncle here earlier.

Y’all wth. I was in this exact room when everything happened. So I’m wondering if I shifted to an alternate reality and then shifted back through my dream.

Everything felt so normal. It’s not like I could do a full 5 senses check or look in a mirror. But I felt everything. If only I had opened my eyes again to see. Oh god.