Old lady here...

I was probably 19 when I realised my mother was abnormal. I was in my 50s when I realised why, and she has cost me every single member of my family including my only child. My brother and I used to call her the velvet hammer. She would destroy you with a smile. I can only tell you younger people one thing... listen to your gut. If things feel wrong, they're wrong. Care for yourself first because if you don't, no one else will.