Someone called my mom an amazing parent and my heart dropped

Someone called my mom a great mom because I'm in a wheelchair and we were just having dinner. My mom has single handed destroyed my self esteem. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I don't want to keep trying to heal just to be crushed when she says I'm a waste of a life. She has provided for me to be alive and I guess I have to appreciate that. I do appreciate it but I'm crushed and upset I don't want to be a burden. I'm sorry if this is not the right sub for this rant