I think my parents are narcs
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm 17f, and I just joined this sub after reading so many instances where I find similarities between the incidents written and my life. There's a lot I have to say, so let's structure it a bit.
Mom. I won't deny she's been through some shit. But every time I trust her with something that's been bothering me, she turns it around and makes it about how SHE went through it. I trust her, I really do. Sometimes she's a gem, but I've noticed she's 'the good parent' only when it benefits her. A lot of people call her a great mom. To some degree I agreed. She motivates me to do what I like, and agrees with my choice of career which is great! Unfortunately, she's too damn lazy to actually help. Sure, she'll give me a few words of 'motivation', but the moment I actually ask for help she'll say I'm old enough to do it myself. One day she'll say she's really proud of me, the next she'll say she doesn't know how I'm going to survive without her. I'm tired of this contradictory behaviour. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to blame but myself at this point.
Dad. He's also a gem, in public. He was raised by a narcissistic mother and it really affects his behaviour. He refuses to get therapy because he thinks it's a scam. He shows much more of narc traits than my mom, and even my mom knows that. Yet she brushes his behaviour under the rug every time. His form of communication is yelling. All of us walk on eggshells around him. Especially when he comes home from work. If he doesn't get a glass of water in his hand the moment he steps in, he throws a temper tantrum and starts yelling how tired he is and how we just sit and home all day and have the gall to be busy doing something else.
The first time I realised: The first shocker I received was from dad. I have a small job at a place far from where I live, so I asked my dad if he could teach me how to drive. He laughed and said 'who am I to teach you?' I thought he was joking and replied, 'well you're my Dad?' To which he scoffed and said 'NOW you remember your dad huh?' hell I almost broke out crying after this.
I think I'll post some more instances afterwards. But please tell me, am I just exaggerating and playing the victim?