Thinking about leaving my religion

Hi guys, I was born muslim, my mom practices but my father is agnostic. I had a very big existential crisis 2 months ago and started researching Islam and I was very convinced about coming back to the faith ( I despised religion in my teenage years and did very dumb things ) but i just cannot. I am a designer, my work is literally editing photos, making poster, drawing, etc... Almost every scholar says this is HARAM, guys, I'm on my third year of my degree, paid private tuition, and this is my second career because the first one was horrible. I love it, it gave me desire to live again. My whole childhood I played instruments and I LOVE music. I am not addicted to it but I listen a fair amount. I loved the teachings of the Qur'an but i just hate how everything is forbidden, I don't drink, I don't eat pork, I am pretty modest, this things do not present a huge problem to me, but art? I don't know. And I know some people will tell me, be a Quranist, but if you don't know how to PRAY without Hadith, what is being a Qur'anist anyway ? +, all the things happening in Saudi, Egypt..... All these woman and men being persecuted for their freedom of speech, for not wearing a hijab or traditional clothing. I despise violence in any form. I am so tired.