Anyone feel like secondaries and update letters have lobotomized their writing ability?

I’m on my second cycle and have been blessed to get an A, so since then I’ve been doing my best to stay offline and do things like reading, making art, and trying to get back into journaling/writing for myself. But every time I try to get into a flow state and write things that are genuine or meaningful, I can feeeeel my Secondary Brain kick in and I start spouting nonsense and using complicated words for no reason. It’s like I have a premed advisor installed behind my eyeballs making me seek out ways I can package my thoughts to make them seem Wise and Mature and Equitable. I hate it. I hope I can grow out of this insane neurotic mindset. Cheers guys best of luck