Scared to give birth

My due date approaches quickly I’m almost 36 weeks, and I’m terrified to give birth. It’s my first child, so of course alot of it has to do with not knowing what to expect but one of the bigger things on my mind besides having anxiety about passing away during labor or the something bad happening to my baby too, is I’ve had really bad hemorrhoids 2/3 of my pregnancy. Like they are really bad, even using preparation h medications, and all the other tips and tricks for dealing with hemorrhoids, they shrink but turn into flaps of skin and will flare right back up again just as bad for seemingly any kind of reason! So I’m scared about how horrible my butt is going to be after pushing my baby out… anyone else scared to give birth? Or dealing with real bad hemorrhoids?:(