Kinda sick of it

I wasn’t asked if I wanted to switch from FWB to dating I was gently told that he and his wife agreed that he and I are dating. Gets under my fuckin skin. It’s my fault because I was on auto pilot during that part of the conversation and didn’t address that weird shit then. They’re sweet people but wtf?

Had he asked me if I wanted to date him instead of telling me what he and his wife decided about my/our relationship I might have shared that I don’t see myself dating someone that I only see a few times a month and that can’t stay the night.

None of it mattered much when it was a casual FWB relationship because I didn’t have many expectations, it was just sex. But now that we’re “dating” I feel I’m supposed to be able to expect more but I’m resentful at being a “secondary”. I think considering myself “secondary” is being generous, I feel more like an afterthought, optional, or a toy taken off then put back on the fucking shelf.

Before we even met I told myself no more married men for multiple reasons then went and got involved with another one anyway. I know I want to be prioritized and need to spend a lot of time with someone to feel stable in a relationship and to form an emotional bond. This relationship doesn’t offer that and I think I need to get out of it.

Edit to add: if he had asked I might have mentioned I don’t wanna date someone that’s not openly poly either. Who tf wants a burst of anxiety walking into a restaurant worried that somebody he knows is there. Shits not normal I’m just trying to eat.