How to win a pisces woman trust again?

So I'm Sagittarius and during the relationship we broke up like 3 4 times for a single day tho. In November I saw some messages and I kicked her out after living together for 9 months. (big mistakes I know)

She went back home. I went after her 2 weeks later to fix things. I apologized. She forgive me. 2 weeks after coming back she realized she didn't forgive me and broke up with me. We continued talking. Untill 25th of December where I asked for her help because I was thinking to hurt myself. I have abandonment issues and it hit me very hard those 3 days. I had a feeling that if she called me she would make those thoughts go away. She did call me. She did make them go away. But she also got scared and run away. Now she doesn't wanna see me blocked me everywhere and is afraid of me.

I know telling her was a very bad idea but let me add that when I kicked her out. She cut her hands and legs and told about it. I never expected this reaction and because I really loved her and miss judged the situation I wanted to apologize and make feel comfortable again.

Early December I bought tickets to go surprise her with gifts and my presence in Valentine's day. All the gifts are custom made with her name etc. Should I still give them to her?

What would make up for the whole situation and give me another chance to prove myself? I know maybe you think I'm not worthy. And you are probably right.