I’m so horny but I can’t have sex

I (19F) have wanted to have sex since I was 16, probably younger. Everyone always thought I was sweet, innocent, goody-goody when I really I just wanted a boyfriend who would... y'know. It was like my dirty secret. Literally.

It went to shit a few years ago when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia (a very debilitating and painful disability) which meant I had to leave school & can't work. I don't meet many people sadly, but I am SO. HORNY. I mean it's crazy. I masturbate most nights, occasionally 3/4 times a day if I'm feeling really horny. But I'm so limited. I get shoulder cramps, wrist cramps, finger pain, can't reach down very well to finger myself for long, which sounds dumb but it's so annoying. Can't get to a store without my parents so I cannot get a vibrator or dildo and I want one. I just wish some magic guy would come along and fuck me. With kindness, because I'm very fragile, but still. Lmao.

That also worries me. If I ever DO find a guy who will have sex with me, what if it hurts too much? I can only lay on my back, which he might find boring. I really want to suck a guy off but I can't kneel. I wanna jerk someone off but what if I can't sit at a good angle for him? I want to ride someone SO BAD but my knees, back, etc wouldn't let me. I want to take control too, make him feel good, make him lose it, but I don't know if I could. It drives me crazy because I want to have nasty, crazed sex and I can't.

Sorry this is so feral, I've just been bottling this up for a long time lol. Is there anyone in a similar situation? Have you ever worked anything out? Or just generally any advice for dealing with horniness alone for a while, because I don't think I'll be having sex in the foreseeable future.

Thanks!