My body gets aroused when I think about my assault and i hate it

I recently figured out I have some intense sexual trauma because of multiple experiences where my consent has been ignored or I’ve been taken advantage of.

I’ve had some issues being aroused and comfortable with sex again, but I feel like I can only get super “excited” if I’m thinking about my consent being taken or consuming any type of non consensual, forceful stuff, mind control whatever.

Anything where the person isn’t fully consenting or is being forced seems to make my body the most aroused and I hate it. I feel so gross about it. I’m in therapy and working on sexual triggers and whatnot, but I hate thats the only thing my body seems to “enjoy” anymore.

I wanna fix it but idk how just yet.