i was r*ped by my boyfriend

about a month ago me (21F) and my boyfriend (20M) (together for 3 months) went to his work party. i trusted him so i got quite drunk and he stayed sober because he was driving. i don’t remember much about the night once we got back to his house where i was staying the night. i woke up the next morning and he told me nothing sexual happened because i was barely conscious. i knew he was lying because i felt sore and later found semen in my underwear. for some reason i didn’t really process what happened and just went on with our relationship as usual without confronting him. i finally mentioned it about a week ago and he explained how guilty he felt about it and that he was so sorry/it would never happen again. since then it’s really been sinking in what happened and now i’ve been having panic attacks and feel sick to my stomach around him. i’m not sure what to do. obviously i know the immediate response would be that i should leave him- but he genuinely seems remorseful and wants to fix things. but his might sound bad, but i don’t have any friends so he is the only person i really connect with and am able to get out socially with so im scared to leave and be alone with this. we talked about it again today because he tried to initiate sex and i said no. he said he was feeling hurt that i rejected him. i told him i was not ready because of what he did. this sent him into a spiral where he was crying and talking about how he thinks he is a creep and a rapist. i care about him, so i tried to make him feel better by saying he’s not a rapist and not a bad person. i feel stupid for doing that. any advice how to handle this? is the relationship even worth salvaging?

UPDATE: it’s been a little over a month since i broke up with him. i’ve been seeing my therapist and have slowly been feeling like myself again. i really want to thank everyone who wrote support messages and helped me see that the way i was being treated was not okay. now being out of that relationship, i feel so much more at peace and can see all the aspects of him that i was trying to avoid. for those who said he is a good guy, i want to provide an update that he has now refused his original offer to go to therapy, asked me to promise to not call him a “rapist” or refer to what he did as “rape”, and is now actively trying to pick up women through single social events. if there is anything i can say to anyone going through this or something similar, please please listen to your gut feeling. if your body is telling you someone is unsafe, it is probably because they are.