Ugly Cried in Lab Check Off

I’m a LPN in RN school. Today during the central venous access skill, I ugly cried in front of my instructor and couldn’t pull myself together.

I’m beyond embarrassed.

I prepared for the skill and ran through it multiple times, with my peers watching. I felt fairly confident about it. I didn’t know until yesterday that I would have to check off this skill today, as they only gave us assignments for a different skill, which I was ready for. They decided to have half the class do the skill we all prepared for, and had the other half do this skill. In my check off, I did one thing wrong, and my instructor corrected me. (Kinda a major thing) And then I started messing other things up cause I was flustered. It happened a few more times where I needed correction. I could feel the tears building up, and then they came out like a dam.

I spiraled.

She had to stop the timer so I could collect myself. I don’t cry often, but sometimes when I do, all the build up comes out. And I hyperventilate, which is so embarrassing. Then I just start crying more cause I’m embarrassed that I’m crying. This hasn’t happened to me before in school. The instructor was nice enough about it, but I’m mortified.

I’m questioning if I even want continue with the RN program. I know that sounds dramatic, but if I can’t do the skill on a non-living person, how can I be trusted to do it in real life? I know I want to continue working in long term care, even as an RN, so maybe I should stay an LPN. I’m just so embarrassed and worried that I won’t be able to move forward from this. Has anyone else embarrassed themselves like this before? I literally want to go crawl into a hole, but I have lab for the rest of the week.