Is This not for Me at this point?

I am from a non-secular path. A Kashmir Shaivite, though Krama-oriented. But that’s not important for what I’m asking, and I thought asking here to a not simply religious audience could give some deeper insight.

I am in a really great marriage. We know we are each better with each other, we have great conversations and debates, and a solid, structured relationship, monogamous, yet each with our own projects and interests that drive us. We see a future together and a family.

Would I be sacrificing this in a non-dual / Advaitic realization of some sort?

Sometimes, while meditating in some form, a fear comes, whispering that I might suddenly awaken at any moment, and then I’m basically dead and life with those I love is thrown on the altar.

Talk to me about this. Am I right? I get nothing is living in that way, truly. Though what is it that dies? That no longer can experience? And where does my husband fall in all of this?