I don’t really understand my parents thought process

How can our parents say they love us when they treat us so badly? What is going on in their head? Do they just want to make it seem like they do? Do they have any remorse or care? I get so confused whenever I hear loving terms when I’m so used to being yelled at and not treated right. I always assume I’m incorrect or they will find something wrong but when they don’t it feels odd. Well I mean come to think of it they usually just say those things to me in public so I guess it could be for display. But it just confuses me. At home I’m told “my hair looks bad”, “fix my teeth” (well I did hear that too in public mind you while I was in the process of eating like 😭?!) “you can’t wear that” etc. When I was in public my mom says “you look pretty today. Well you always do.” And it just makes me feel weird. By the way she says things and how she’s constantly examining me it doesn’t feel like I ever feel pretty. For the examples I gave you those were very vague. It’s usually very cut throat and mean comments being said and it really makes me feel bad. More like “your hair looks awful”, “you can’t go out looking like that”, “did you come your hair today?” And all of those things make me feel bad. I never feel acceptable. Some days when I’m really tired I have a pajama day and they automatically judge me. They are like you need to put clothes on. But anyways the hair comments really affect me because I used to never take care of my hair or comb it because of how badly I viewed myself. I didn’t have the energy and they already said I looked horrible. I got used to it. But it hurts because now I do try my best with my hair and they still say those things as if I don’t. Never recognizing any of what I do better from the past. I also have naturally curly hair but it is also straight and wavy. Whenever my hair is curly (which usually happens throughout the day or if the weather changes) they say to comb my hair and think my hair wasn’t combed. You want to know something so interesting I had someone say my hair is cute with the curls. It just made me think long and hard how my own family makes fun of and basically wants me to comb it out. But that was amazing I’ll never forget that person said that. The way I view myself is still damaged but it helps to hear someone thinks how I am naturally is good. It seems like I’ll never be enough for my family. It is weird because sometimes when I don’t try and I feel like I don’t look my best they say I look good but when I do they say I look bad. Maybe it’s a jealousy thing and they don’t want me to look good? Idk. But when I say look good I usually just do the bare minimum. I don’t want anyone to look at me a lot. I don’t wear makeup. I just comb my hair. I don’t know any cool hairstyles. It’s usually just down. Nothing special just me. Sometimes I don’t necessarily think I look good it’s just based off of I have some more confidence then if say I didn’t comb my hair. I don’t have extreme confidence though. I mean I know there’s definitely more room for improvement for me and I probably could look better but that’s beside the point. Idk the main thing that’s important is what’s inside and that’s what I’m going to try and work on the most.