Trying to get clean and off meth. Sex is my trigger and as a man I don't know how to deal with it

Struggling with meth addiction for half a year. Got around some bad influences and got into the Chemsex scene. I found it relatively easy to get clean, after Acute withdrawal I mostly never feel any cravings for it.

But I has relapsed every month, have never been able to stay clean for more than one month. I used Meth to have sex and then stimfapping for days after. So after Acute withdrawal, my thing down there couldn't get hard or feel any sexual drive, like literally erectile disfunction. After a month of not any sexual activity, life work back to absolutely normal, after one month is when the sexual thoughts and my thing down there work and have that horned up feelings again. It started to give good sensation again.

And that's been the reasons behind my every relapse. I would jerk off, or just think about sex again, and the extreme good feeling when using meth come back. I suddenly remembered and like my thing down there craved how good meth made it feel.

That's the only trigger and when I crave meth again. I've never felt any craving for it except when sexual thoughts arised, like intense craving. And I start to think about the most depraved sexual kinks and porns that I've jerked off to when high on meth. And then that made me crave meth even more and relapsed.

I hate it. I really hate it. Sex and jerk off is supposed to be a natural thing for a man. Now I consider it a disgusting version of myself when feeling horned up VS my normal, sober self. I feel like it's the evil, enemy version of myself that I have to protect from my virtual, with-high-morale self.