Am I alone in this?

Trigger warning

Almost 3 years ago, I was raped a few weeks after turning 30 years old. I was a virgin before this happened. I was planning to save myself before marriage. Now, I have had multiple partners and honestly it is really hard for me to say no. I’m not necessarily going to look for it. In a lot of my sexual experiences I have felt as if it was impulsive- like I literally can’t control it. I’m not sure if it’s continual trauma responses. I have done a lot of therapy but still feel tons of shame. Growing up in purity culture doesn’t help at all.