My Husband’s K-pop Obsession is Straining Our Marriage

I (35F) need some perspective on an issue that’s been growing in my household. I’ve been married to my husband (39M) for six years, and we have two young kids together, including a 2-month-old baby.

About a year ago, my husband became interested in a K-pop girl group. Initially, it was just about the music, which he says reminds him of a relatable, Y2K-inspired vibe. But over time, it’s escalated. He now spends hours watching their videos, livestreams, and tracking their daily updates, even trivial ones. He’s also active on a Discord group dedicated to the group, where he chats with other fans, justifying it by saying they’re “real people with real jobs.”

The problem is that this hobby is interfering with our relationship. He spends hours on his phone in these fan discussions and watching YouTube. He even made a separate social media account just for interacting with other fans and sharing content about this group.

What worries me most is how he’s started involving our 5-year-old daughter. He plays their music for her and shows her their videos. I’m uncomfortable with this because many of the group members are minors (ages 14–18).

When I brought up the ethical concerns about how the company exploits these young girls, he became defensive and even angry. A couple of days ago, I asked him to step back from the Discord group and focus more on family and work. He agreed but hasn’t shown any signs of actually doing it.

I don’t want to control his hobbies, but this feels like more than just a casual interest. It’s putting a strain on our relationship, and I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with how deeply he’s immersed in a fandom centered on teenage girls. I’ve even thought about leaving him if this obsession doesn’t stop, though I love him and know he’s usually a reasonable, rational person.

Did I go too far by asking him to leave the group? How do I navigate this situation without feeling like I’m fighting against something I don’t fully understand?

TL;DR: My husband (39M) has become obsessed with a K-pop girl group consisting of very young girls and I’m uncomfortable with how it’s impacting our relationship dynamics. I asked him to step back, but I’m unsure if it was the right move. Looking for advice.