Does anyone still have trauma with their ex ?

My ex (22m) and I (22f) were together for five years. We broke up and now I’m with someone new. I love my new boyfriend, he’s amazing and the relationship is so different and sometimes feels like culture shock. My ex was a porn addict and showed many signs of his addiction before me finding out.

Sometimes when I’m driving home at night, I start crying thinking about this one night with my ex. He was breaking up with me in a Walmart parking lot, and I was begging and crying for him to take me back. He made it very clear he didn’t care and that he did not want me but I kept trying. Eventually, he put my hand on his d*** which usually meant “if you do this, we’ll get back together” so I unbuckled his pants and started sucking his d**. I remember trying not to cry, my eyes were definitely still puffy and red. He finished and I cleaned him off and I asked him if he wanted to come with me to a family party. He looked at me and told me he did not want to be with me and then zipped his pants back up. I started sobbing. I can’t even describe the amount of different emotions I felt but what I felt the strongest was disgust with myself. I won’t ever forget the feeling of his c* in my throat, the way my chest was hurting, and how much I couldn’t catch my breath from crying. I’ll never understand how someone could do that. I don’t understand why he was hard in the first place or why he wanted me to do it. But it’s one of those things that haunts me, and I think it’s one of my biggest regrets in life. So, how do I get over it ? Why can’t I get over it if I’m happy now ? How long does it take to get over all the big and small things that PA does to you ? I want to stop crying about it.