Upset by friend’s comments about my eating

Edit after reading comments: Thank you all. It helped me do a gut-check. I think it’s complicated because I do have insecurities about my habits, I’m new to maintaining and still working with my nutritionist, and finding balance is hard. I don’t want to screw up my progress. So I’m definitely reacting at least somewhat from those feelings.

But there’s also a little bit of boundaries being crossed. We don’t have a kind of relationship where I’m asking for feedback on my weight or eating habits, so he might be projecting some of his own stuff onto me. It’s not crazy to think that my changes have also impacted his feelings.

——

I (46f) don’t think my friend (38m) objectively meant to be hurtful, but I felt ashamed with what he said.

I’ve lost 60 pounds and I’m beginning maintenance. Over that last few months, I’ve been finding my balance between my new normal and an occasional special meal that’s maybe not so healthy. I’ve been really happy with how I’m doing. I’m staying in my range and learning a lot.

Yesterday, I had a lunch planned with another friend and I was excited to go out to a nice restaurant. He texted me a comment asking if I was okay emotionally, because he thought I was slipping into my old behaviors and I was happier while I was being very strict.

I replied that I didn’t understand why he was saying that, and he told me it was meant with love because “we’re in this together”. It felt really judgmental and presumptuous.

What does this sound like? Am I being overly sensitive? Does this seem possessive of him? Or is it normal for people to have strange reactions when you’ve changed a pattern? I’ve never lost weight before (I’ve been heavy my entire adult life) and a lot of people have had strange things to say. This one was particularly distressing.