I cant trust you

It's been so long and we've been through so much both together and as people. Our start was rough, we were both so young and had so much to learn and grow. But I was too forgiving, I didn't want to be another failure. I shpuld have taken the outs you gave me. It wasn't physical, though you scared me with how close it'd come. Emotionally would have made those around us condemn you if they only knew. And you were oh so careful they never did.

But I finally said I was done, and the age old song and dance came to happen. You promised change, you stopped the almost physical, and some of the emotional. And like a dummy I stayed.

We kept up this dance, where I'd finally have enough and try to go. And each time you improved more and more as a person. When the worsr thing that could happen to me did, ypu responded in the worst way. Im so thankful you believed me and wanted to protect me, but you made choices for me that just took more of my power away. And it took someone else trying to explain for you to give me the apology I needed. And its no longer enough.

But now here we are again and I can't go back again. Nothing about now is favorable for either of us WHEN I leave, but its not fair to me if I dont. I look at you and I still see and hear the things you said in the past. I can't even believe your compliments anymore, what you've said in anger ring in my head still. And you've proven that in the end it's your opinions and feelings that matter, not mine.

I fell out of love with you years ago, but tried to fool myself into thinking I could pretend and maybe it'd come back. But I need to leave so we both can find people to truly love us.