Mansfield Park! The bane of my sanity 😭😭

I am not at all showing an audacity to criticise the Jane Austen, but seriously can't take it more 😬 I am almost near the end of the novel (87% to be precise)& right now seriously questioning my decision to read this ignoring all your warnings that MP is disturbing & not for everyone. It certainly is not for me, so far by the look of it. After somehow trudging through all of Mrs. Norris' nonsense, now I am on the verge of hating Fanny, our heroine, herself 😬 I mean yeah I get it she is really touched by Edmund's affection & helpful nature etc etc, but which part of "brotherly" affection does she not understand? 😒 I don't know....her simping over Edmund continuously is really driving me crazy at this point.

Henry Crawford has started to look like a Kdrama 2nd male lead to me now & I feel like I am experiencing a severe 2nd lead syndrome 🤧 I do not deny that his earlier conduct was questionable, though nothing near Wickham or Willoughby level, more like a Frank Churchill level conduct, but he really fell for Fanny hard, no? It's alright if Fanny doesn't want to accept him, but at least tell him the reason? She can tell that her heart is engaged elsewhere without naming Edmund, right? Instead poor Crawford is just going round & round & round to impress her & she is getting annoyed by it instead of feeling guilty 😐 I know Edmund is her endgame but after these chapters narrating Mr. Crawford 's visit to Portsmouth (which are the last chapters I read)I just don't see how. Here Fanny positively appears like she has started liking him (even if that's a very tiny winy bit), be it being thankful for his support during the walks or wishing to invite Susan to a house of her own had she married Crawford. It certainly looks like his hardwork is starting to pay off and the knowledge that Fanny is going to end up with Edmund, the guy who spent 87% of the novel being so clearly in love with someone else & who did not even bother to write to Fanny even once in the 7 weeks she has been away from Mansfield, is really disrupting my sanity 😭

And the dirtiest she did to Miss Crawford in my opinion. Yes, Mary Crawford is not as prim & proper as Fanny but she really seems to love Fanny genuinely. She considers Fanny her dearest friend & is waiting with open arms to welcome her as her Sister in law and all Fanny does is try to find faults & flaws in her in her head. She is always busy dissecting her character & conduct and asserting how she is a mismatch for Edmund! I mean please! Is Edmund really that great a catch? 😑 And she does all these while maintaining a facade of being a close friend of Miss Crawford's 😳 I am sorry, but Fanny is giving serious mean 3rd wheel vibe here, irrespective of how many times we are told how she is so delicate, proper, righteous & all that. It's 87% over already and I don't see how in the remaining 13% it can be justified that Edmund & Fanny were just meant to be 😐 The most probable scenario is Edmund would do a 180° turn & realise that he always loved Fanny, even though for the majority of the novel he didn't have a single romantic thoughts about her. And Fanny would just gleefully accept him. I am so offended on behalf of the Crawfords that I am now doubting if I really want to read this manifesting itself into the story lol! I am positively thinking about giving up & not reading the rest 13% 🙈🙈

Phew! Really went down the rant lane & such a long rant it turned out to be 🙈🙈 It's alright if nobody agrees with me or shares my frustrations. I just needed a place to write it down.

Thank you for reading 😭😭