My moms severe anxiety

I have an immigrant mother in a Muslim household. My mom is kind of liberal but not really. My mom from a young age would not let me go to my friends houses in fear, ok I gave her that fine. In undergrad I was never allowed to do anything really after classes she would have my schedule and make me go home right after. If I stepped off campus, she would be furious. Fast forward I practically ran away for a little over a year to another country to study. It came to a point I would have to be home before sundown, and I would have to know at all times who I’m hanging out with or what I’m doing and talking to. She would drop me off and pick me up from work until it became inconvenient to her. If I don’t text I’m at work or I have arrived somewhere she would freak out. She would call my job at hospitals asking staff members to talk to me and see where I am. She only wants me to go on vacation with her and only to her home country which I’m really starting not to care about at all because I want to explore other places. When I lived abroad I would have to lie over sleeping or being in bed just to be able to study at the library with my peers so I didn’t fail out. I until now have to lie to where I am going to just to go somewhere for an extended period of time without being questioned.

To give you more context- my friend complained to me after her mother slammed the door on her and my mom told me to excuse her mother’s behavior because clearly the daughter did something. my mother has done the same things to me. My other friend went on vacation with someone else she told me she’s crazy and insane and she will never be happy if she doesn’t stay in her house. I have no control over my life and I am PRAYING to be accepted into this one school so it can be my official get of jail free card and I can start a new “life”. I will never abandon her, EVER. She sacrificed so much for me but I literally turn 25 in a few months. I cant be held down like this forever it really ruins my mental health completely.

Just to let you know I did have a lot of verbal abuse growing up. It’s weird she doesn’t remember it. She currently still does the same but this time saying “I am the reason her life is the way it is and that she didn’t get a divorce”. Mind you, I was in ELEMENTARY schools when the divorce fights were happening. This fight happened a few months ago. She provides a lot for me. I don’t want to go deeply into the things she has told me because I think it’s irrelevant as I know you get the gist of it all.

Thanks for your time. I don’t know what I am expecting from posting this.