You wake up to find that your decision to participate in Taco Tuesday was a horrible mistake. As you race to the toilet and sit down, you find your horror that there is one roll of toilet paper... created completely out of the death note [no loopholes]

If you use it on yourself, you will suffer a violent, stinky and horrific bout of diarrhea. It will drain all the water and Air from your body and leave you a hollow shell with no soul and little hope of recovery. It will feel like Pandora's box but all the evils of the world are emptying out of your a******. You will cry, you will scream, and you remove the day you were born. Finally, you will die and fall off of the toilet...stone dead. The last thing you were here before you completely go to afterlife is a singular fart.

HOWEVER

if you leave the bathroom without wiping, you will immediately be killed by the spirit of cleanliness who will shoot you in the face with a shotgun the moment you open the door. No loopholes, it's one or the other.. and he can wait all day. Before you try to say it, the room has no air conditioning whatsoever.

So you got three options:

*Wipe with the death Note

*Not wipe and risk a gunshot

*Not wipe and suffocate

What do you do?

I am not on any form of drugs nor will I ever be. I don't want to hear it out of your mouth and I don't want to see it typed. Pay me that respect, thank you.