I have no future - not able to have a family

I just need someone to talk to with this condition. Have moderate/severe reactive T (>60 db, moderate H and have to wear earplugs in social settings. I have this condition for two years, pain and loudness H. Don’t feel it’s getting better. Thankfully I am able to speak, shower, get groceries with earplugs and see friends in really small settings. It has impacted my social life a lot tho.

I hate having H, i wanted to have a family and children, but i know I cant have them. They are way too loud and the crying of babies hurt my ears. I’m not even in my thirties and feel like my life is over.

I can’t have a normal life, not even without children. I can’t travel and get on an airplaine, feel like life is useless. Travelling used to be a big passion of mine. I can’t even go to the dentist and get a cavitie filled or go to my friends wedding.

I’m thinking more about ethanazation, I live in a country that may allow it. I don’t want to die, but living with this condition is worse and a torture.

I’m celebrating christmas with family, but all I want to do is cry. My sister has little children and it’s a future i’ll never be able to have. The only thing I can do is wearing my earplugs and staying far away from the children.

The thing that sucks most, is that i’ve always have worn costum made earplugs after I got T for the first time and this is how I ended up.