Parenting

Hello!

I have an 8m old daughter. We are practicing gentle parenting. We don’t raise our voice and certainly don’t intend to use physical punishment.

What do you do when people you are around parent massively differently? For example, we spend a lot of time around my mom and my brothers. So my daughter’s uncles and grandmom. But the boys are younger; 5, 12, 15. So they (rightfully so) create a lot of chaos. Normally it’s fine and dandy. But my mom is..for lack of better term, ocd and gets “triggered” easily (she wouldn’t use this term, she would just say people are effing annoying, not that she’s triggered. but I’m 100% certain it’s her being triggered and I’m 98% sure the way she was raised created trauma. she doesn’t admit to it creating trauma, but i don’t think she realizes that deep down, it did, and it’s shaped her into how she is today) but anyway, back on track, she can seriously lose it on my little brothers. Sometimes physical but not like beating them, just a quick smack and she certainly yells, loudly.

I dont really want my daughter around this energy but we love going there and they love her so much.

I did inform my brothers (who can be quite rude to each other) that when she is older and understands things, if they continue speaking and behaving this way, we won’t be coming over as much because I don’t want her learning these things.

But how do I address my mom with that same idea?

For example: yesterday we were in the car and my brother (5) let out this annoying screech (he does this often, gets it from the 12 year old, they’re both frequently reprimanded for it) but my mom lost it. Got out of her seat, came to his door, smacked his leg and yelled “if you scream like that again I am going to make you eat something very very bad and I don’t care who doesn’t like it, or who in this car doesn’t like it” because she knows I think she’s over the top ….

If you read this far, thanks. Any words or advice is much appreciated.

She is a great mom. She just has a very short fuse.