I've been obsessed with success my entire life. What do you do about it?

As a child, I was instructed not to cry because it was annoying and would not solve any problems. I was also told countless stories about older students winning national science competitions, going to top colleges, and bringing wealth to both themselves and their families. As such, I focused on success above all else, pushing away friendships, relationships, and emotions in the process. Even when my peers started to surpass me in middle school, I still held onto these beliefs. In the end, I failed to achieve any of the goals I set for myself in childhood, and find it very difficult to achieve goals nowadays as well, whether it means finding a prestigious job, getting married, and so on. I'm 23 now, and feel like I don't have any dreams beyond whatever I consider success at that given moment. What can I do, and should I even do it?