i would rather marry a worldly man

I'd rather marry a "worldly" man because I value freedom, love and intimacy more than anything and I see a "worldly" man as someone who could provide me with those things, unlike a jw man who's more focused on rules and restrictions than on having a meaningful, deep connection with me. me and my boyfriend met a few years ago, and we hit it off immediately. His mom loves me, but my mom, who's a hardcore JW, hates the fact that he's not a witness. She keeps nagging me constantly about how I need to marry a witness to find "true happiness." It's frustrating but I can't really blame my mom because she just wants the best for me in her own narrow minded way.

most of the "brothers" in my congregation are absolute perverts. They'd do anything for their so-called "god," except treat their wives and sisters with respect. my boyfriend, on the other hand, is the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. He's respectful, understanding and supportive of my beliefs, even though he's not a witness himself. He listens to me, treats me like I'm the most important person in his life, and always makes me feel loved and treasured. He's the perfect gentleman, unlike those "brothers" in my hall.

also, I'm sick and tired of all the bullshit I grew up with as a jw. I refuse to teach my kids the same shit I had to go through. I want them to have a happy, normal childhood, free from all the shame that comes with being a jw kid. i want them to be able to think for themselves, and make their own choices, without the fear of being shunned by their family and friends. And if marrying a worldly man means that I can give my kids that kind of freedom, then so be it.

I don't care if my mom disowns me or if my friends shun me. All I care about is giving my future kids and husband the best life possible. i refuse to let the witnesses control me anymore.