complicated therapy situation: feeling Evil (Bad Way) for lying

i started therapy recently and after a few sessions my therapist (she knows of my love for psychology) asked me if i have ever considered any disorders for myself.

i panicked and said no. she led on with a conversation about autism and asked me if i had noticed any traits in myself. i said yes but said that i never liked self diagnosing although i had been self diagnosed to my friends for a while then, so i basically outright lied, mostly because i got scared she wouldn't consider me as valid or something.

now i have a psychiatrist appointment soon and i'm worried they'll ask the same question. i've always felt terrible even over 'little' and 'necessary' lies and i feel like this is a huge lie that'll haunt me forever

evil autistics please console me 😭😭 /hj /nf