What are things you only realized were abuse after growing up?
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to see how much of my childhood was marked by emotional neglect and abuse that I didn’t understand back then. Here are a few things I only realized were harmful after growing up:
- Emotional invalidation: When I expressed my feelings, I was often told I was “overreacting” or “too sensitive.” It wasn’t until later that I understood how damaging that was.
- The silent treatment: I thought being ignored was just normal after an argument, but now I see it as a form of control and punishment.
- Withholding affection or approval: Love and approval always felt conditional. I now realize how hurtful it is to feel like you have to earn love.
- Being blamed for things out of my control: I was often blamed for things that weren’t my fault, and it made me feel responsible for problems I couldn’t fix.
- Minimizing my pain: Whenever I went through something hard, I was told to “get over it” or “others have it worse.” I now see how harmful that was to my healing.
It took me years to understand these things as abuse. What are some things you only realized were harmful after growing up?