Any tips for healing from an emotionally neglectful and abusive childhood (& not repeating the neglectful cycle with your own children)

I'm so sad and lost. Christmas makes it even worse. My mom was so abusive to me as a child, and if she wants abusive she was neglectful. I've had depression, anxiety, and all sorts of other issues due to the horrible way she acted. The last 5+ years I've had anhedonia that just gets worse. I feel no enjoyment, pleasure, motivation, engagement, excitement, or connection with anyone/anything. I can barely even taste food now.

I badly want to interact, make my child happy, and enjoy the interactions like I should, but it is so exhausting, I feel nothing, and can barely focus on doing anything with her because I feel no interest or enjoyment for anything. I don't want her to grow up feeling like she isn't the most important person in the world to me.

I only feel numb, pathetic, or incredibly sad. There are days where I feel almost catatonic and not inside my body/real.

I start with a psychologist in January, but I'm so scared the anhedonia will never go away and that nothing will ever help. I don't know how many more years I can live like this.

Sorry for the wall of text with plenty of selfish "me" and "I".

TL/DR: Any tips on how to break the cycle and feel human? Especially from people who have healed and found a way to feel and be better?