emetophobia has been bad.

hi guys. so lately my emetophobia has been uncontrollable and it's never been this bad. i mean it's BAD. i'm becoming agoraphobic, barely eating, barely drinking water, ever since i had that panic attack about a month ago i have been pretty much traumatized. i feel sick when i eat and sick when i don't eat and i just feel like i'm rotting in my own body. it's been really mentally draining and also made me severely depressed. i feel like throwing up everytime i eat but nothing was wrong with my endoscopy results, other than a little stomach inflammation from all my acid reflux but i doubt that'd be doing all this. i don't have therapy right now because my last therapist wasn't working out. i'm miserable and i've lost almost 20 lbs in two months or less. my anxiety has been off the hook lately. i need help. it's made me feel suicidal with how bad i've felt on a daily basis.